BodyWorks - On A Totally Different Level

When listing out possible blog topics needing my opinion, Sue listed"spray-on tanning". I can only venture to guess that this means she wants to know my opinion on both the the act of spray-on tanning as well as the fact of it. Let's break it down into scientific/Egyptian-shaped outline segmentation portions:

I. Spray-on tanning exists.

A. spray-on versus sun contact with skins
B. spray-on vs. attacks by flesh-eating zombies

b. flesh eating zombies with spray-on tans - the existence of.

II. Ok, so maybe I don't exactly remember how to form outlines. It's been a long time since I was in school. And I'm thankful for that time. It's taken me this long to stop analyzing everything that comes at me into a 5 paragraph essay with a thesis sentence. School can fuck you up. Simple as that.

What I'm trying to say here is that I'd find an attack of flesh-eating zombies infinitely more terrifying IF they also sported spray-on tans. And even, EVEN more terrifying would be contemplating whether or not they received those tans prior to their zombified status. Because what if the answer to that was 'no'. No. Think about that.

That would mean that someone has to finagle them into that room where they get sprayed and must thereafter extract credit card information...the whole time the undead growls and grasps at person of the poor innocent spray-tan-facility flunky. The horror.

And the worst part is, you know they're not making more than $8/hr.

Damn this economy.

Damn the undead.

Damn spray-on tans.

Good evening to you all.