They have finally succeeded in taking my favorite ride at Disneyland (since the age of 6, mind you) and soiled everything it stands for. Which, I think, was light-hearted pirate glorifying fun. They have also succeeded in inciting BOREDOM during a JOHNNY DEPP film. For this, I'll never forgive them.
Damn you...Them.
The worst part of it is...I LUURRRVVV pirate movies. I can't tell you how many times I've seen Captain Blood and The Buccaneer. Of course, not as often since I passed my 13th birthday, but still...in my mind, those two pirate flicks can't be beat. And Disney had its head in the right place for a while (as in, not up its ass) with movies like Blackbeard's Ghost and Treasure Island. When I discovered ages ago that they were making a movie based on my favorite ride, I was ecstatic. And it was cute! And Johnny was cute! And it had Kiera Knightly who never shuts her fucking anorexic mouth, but could easily be ignored! And then there was the promise of the second one with Bill Nighy! Everyone loves Billy Nighy!
And then the second one blew!
And then I thought...well, at least there's only one more. They'll wrap up the story line and that'll be the last we'll see of Johnny in eyeliner til...his next movie. But if any of you wasted three hours of your life that you'll never get back like I did...you'd have found out that not a goddamn thing is wrapped up since they're obviously doing a fourth. Which will probably also blow.
Money grubbing pricks.
In the meantime, I can't look my favorite ride in the face anymore. Or, at least, I won't be able to if I ever darken the doorways of Disneyland again.
Yo ho.
Oh yeah...did you hear that Britney's gone postal and is currently residing in psychiatric la la land? I'm a little saddened it's her and not Paris. At least we know that Paris' art flourishes behind bars.
