Not Necessarily A Bad Thing

Scene: Kitchen...15 minutes ago.

Me(washing a paring knife): Sometimes I feel bipolar where you're concerned.
Kansas: What do you mean?
Me: Well...sometimes you drive me so crazy I can hardly stand it, and ten minutes later I never want you to leave my sight.
Kansas: Well, that's because you're a girl, and girls are fucking crazy.
...
Me: You better be careful, I'm holding a knife.
Kansas: Case in point.

Sometimes...I'm afraid I wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it hit me in the face with an oven mit.

This Gave Me A Chortle

Monday

In reference to the plans we had the following day of visiting our friend (Sarah) who has just given birth to a lovely little girl...

Amy: Ok, I'll pick you up from the MAX (train) stop.
Me: Cool. I have to stop and get her flowers.
Amy: Don't get flowers.
Me: I have to! You have a baby, you get flowers!
Amy: But flowers are such a waste of money!
Me: Yeah, well...so are babies.
Amy: ... true.

We should never be parents.