It's Fucking Snowing!

The bad news is, there's no stupid USB port on this stupid ancient computer. The good news is...I'm on it for free so I should just get over myself. But I wish you all could see the view I'm viewing from the window next to me. All nestled into a mountain side I'm sitting here in a toasty warm hostel in Brasov, Romania where all the young'uns are thankfully passed out, unknowing how truly awful their hangovers are going to be when they must wake up in a couple hours. So it's quiet. I have my tea, and I'm watching the snow fall gently onto these gajillion year old houses...and into the back patio silently filling up the empty midget pool. Don't worry...I know how shitty my descriptive skills are. I'm taking pictures.

The hostel as organized transport for us to go see Bran AND Peles castles today. Normally we'd be all "thanks but no thanks", but it's Sunday and all the museums are closed Mondays so we have to try and pack it in. Poor Kansas is going to have to try to pry one of the cameras loose from my over-excited death grips. He's doing well, by the way. No severe blow ups or even bad spats. He's out right now trying to track down some normal coffee. I think he will fail. In either event...I can't wipe the smile off of my face. This place is incredible in the winter...and it's going to be hard to leave. So I'm not going to for at least the next week.

Maybe if I pay for internet at some point tomorrow, I can upload some pictures. Until then, you'll just have to sit at your desks, staring at your monitors in anticipation. I'm going to go stare out the window til it's time to leave. Jealous? You should be.

I Am Not Quite Gone

1 1/2 days left. No packing done. Shit.

And so, Kansas and I will pack up our little backpacks of fun and spend the next three weeks avoiding frostbite in the forests near Brasov, the streets of Budapest and the outskirts of Prague. Hopefully...at the end of three weeks...he will still be there with me. Sorry, inside joke.

Anyway, like I did in Morocco back in October '06...I'll try and post while I'm there where I can. Maybe I'll even be able to upload a picture or two. Who knows! Though, to be completely truthful...I'd probably benefit from a break in blogging as much a break in working. However, since I know you're all currently tapping into your abandonment issues and crying yourself to sleep tonight at the thought, I'll refrain from refraining. Because I am a giver. And that's what givers do. Give. And blog.

And if ONE more person asks me to bring them back Absinthe...I'll break a bottle over their heads. We have BACKPACKS people...how much room do you think we have?! The last time I tried to bring liquid home in a backpack...the can of Pimms and Lemonade punctured all over a white Moroccan kaftan. It was really quite an imperialistically metaphorical moment. Or it would've been if it had been a can of Pastis. But they don't put Pastis in cans. And I wouldn't bring any home if they did because it tastes like black licorice, which in turn tastes like battery acid. Or what I imagine battery acid to taste like but hope never to find out for sure.

What the eff?! I don't have time for this. Shame on you for distracting me.

Cross your fingers that Kansas and I come back still in love!

Out!

And So...

The countdown begins. 4 days.

Romania better get ready for me.

Yeehaw, F*ckers!

The Cheese Stands Alone

"No man is man enough to not be unmanned by hitting their man parts"

- Kansas (after 6 beers)

Truer words were never spoken. And so it is that after placing third once again, we lose John Edwards from the Democratic race. I'm very sad. As much as I hate to admit it, in the politcal race between a woman, a black man and a middle aged, white southern male...I liked the middle aged, white southern male. I liked the guy who said, “I'd say if you live in the United States of America and you vote for George Bush, you've lost your mind.” Because that's EXACTLY how I felt/feel. After one failed attempt at accessing the White House, he threw his all into this election and I hate to see us left with two candidates who can't stop cat fighting long enough to say anything real. And his hair...oh his presidential hair. There's only been one other with hair as presidential as his...you know who I'm speaking of. You know. Sigh.

I think my biggest problem with Hilary isn't with Hilary herself...it's with her last name. I really don't want three decades of Bush - Clinton - Bush - Clinton. I don't want two families to run the country. That feels too much like a monarchy. Besides, I think Bill's been acting like a right little bitch lately and he needs to tone his shit talking down.

Perhaps I'm turning my back on my sex by not supporting Hilary, but honestly, except for a severe suit and coif...I don't see much of her that is still feminine. I think she's had to banish that side of her persona to truly become of "the guys". Only then could she be seen as a true contender. She's wandered away from the fold far enough that I don't feel the loss. It's a shame really. I think you can be a good politician and still feminine. Look at Madeline Albright. Shit...look at Condi. At least the bitch shops at Ferragamo.

I suppose now that Edwards is out of the running I'll turn my hopes toward Barak. His mother is from Kansas, after all...to have such progressive ideals coming from a state that tries to teach Creationism in schools...what's not to love.

I'm secretly proud of John McCain, though. You cannot keep that guy down. He's a bit of an asshole...but a buoyant one.

(this is what The Face thinks of politics)

**Update**
I'm posting Sam's response to this post because it's what I would've said if I knew how to write.

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

I was a big enough nerdus as to email Edwards' campaign this morning to tell him that he hadn't run for nothing and had really kept issues of poverty and corporate greed right in the debate whereas it might never have been talked about at all. I don't see the other two candidates wanting to talk about these things too much. it might cut into their waxing lyrical on "change" and "a new way forward" without managing to articulate quite how.

I would love to see a woman president but only if she was the right person to do it. And I'm not sure, I'm not sure at all. She is so much the political animal and is not the unifier she tells us she is. Obama, I like. I reckon he is a man of integrity but he's even more vague on specifics than Clinton when you get down to both their policies.

I liked Edwards because for a long time now he's been laying out what his policies were, he has a tremendous history highlighting the chasm between rich and poor in this country, and while lacking a bit in the foreign policy department, is undoubtedly a clever man capable of learning on his feet - unlike the present dolt. Unfortunately with the chance of history being made with an African American or female president, all the oxygen was sucked out of the room and his campaign struggled. I'm betting he'll endorse Obama to shake the old order up a little.

I wouldn't be at all unhappy to see an Obama/Clinton ticket or vice versa, or an Obama/Edwards ticket, or even a Clinton/Edwards ticket but I'm guessing whoever gets the nomination will seek further afield than their running mates.

I really want McCain to beat Romney. Romney changes his positions too conveniently for my liking and I don't like the way he seems to be buying his way to the white House. He seems inflexible as a thinker, much too allied to corporate models and interests, too socially conservative and thinks that while religion requires freedom, that also freedom requires religion - what in hell was that all about?

I admire much about McCain but he too has been too willing to indulge in pandering to the base at the expense of his integrity. I could deal with him as a president though; with a Democratic congress looking set to stay that way, the balance would be there to curb his more conservative excesses should he have them.

McCain v Obama would leave the country with two relatively good choices and both stand a better chance of uniting left and right in moderation than either Clinton or Romney. God, I'll hate it of Romney gets the nomination.

Sorry for going on, but it is a very exciting old time right now, innit? I just wish there was the luxury of not having so much ride on it all.

11:05 PM

Hipsters are rude.

My weekend mornings are normally uneventful...and of late, have me sporting a hangover convincing me that death is near. Solid. This one was less sedentary...as I went to two restaurants and a cemetery...all before 1 PM.

Brunch with the laaaydies consisted of banana's foster french toast. I know...breakfast with BOOZE in it! I'm so on my way to becoming a fat cow. You wouldn't judge me if you could've tasted it, though. And if you still would...well, I've got some nice rope you can suck.

Between my home and the restaurant is the Pioneer Cemetery. Next time I get up the energy to leave the house in the daylight hours, I'll take the ol' digital camera over there for some pics. It's a cool place, worthy of its own post. I walked through it on my way home (scooter's got a dead battery...bike's in the 'shop') as I am sometimes want to do. Wacky place, but as I said...worthy of its own post...so disregard.

I arrived home just in time for Kansas to be off of work, hungry and too needy to go eat by himself...so off we went to another neighborhood eatery. I didn't get home until ONE THIRTY! Exhausting. But now I'm safe and sound on my cushy orange sectional with my umpteenth cup o' tea. Just in case you care.

So while Kansas stuffed his cute face with corn beef hash, I stared at the next table. 5 hipsters...all with their "morning after" hair and thick black glasses (I know I have a pair too, but mine are vintage...there's a difference, so shut up). Of the 5, 4 of them were reading The Mercury (local free paper) as they sat and waited for their food. Rude! The 5th guy was alternating between looking out the window and glancing at the paper over the shoulder of one of the chicks. It's just absurd! What is the point of going to brunch with friends if you're all just going to sit and read a gajillion copies of the SAME paper instead of talking to each other? These assholes needed to order their shit to-go and be done with it. And what was the other guys' deal? Lone rebel? Illiterate? Far sighted? I don't know, but I felt bad for him. Not enough to invite his unbathed ass over to our table, though.

The last couple of days have been wacky here in the quaint metropolis of Portland proper. I know I occasionally post pictures of the weather forecast in my blogs, and I realize this is extremely nerdy and of little interest to anyone not presently at this locale, but I can't let this one pass:
What the fuck is a Wintry Mix?

I've figured out that they're referring to what I call "Snain", which quite logically, is snow mixed with rain. Look at that, a term that tells you everything you need to know in one syllable. How the fuck are you supposed to dress for a Wintry Mix? Rain coat? Down jacket? Both? Hood? No hood? What the EFF? It's not even weather terminology. Know why? Because this is an 'Autumn Mix':

You see the distinction. They're just asking for trouble, jumbling elements like that. They need to stick with Snain...because to people in their right mind...this is a 'Wintry Mix':


I said GOOD DAY!

A Lesson in History of A Lesson In Music

A long time ago, someone was trying to make a crepe and they accidentally made a record instead. People figured out that these "vinyl LPs" were much better at holding music than gruyere cheese and creme fraiche...so that's what they did. For a long long time, it was the only way anyone could hear The Police...until the invention of the 8-track.

Those reminded people too much of Nintendo games, and they kept breaking when those same people would try to shove them into the console. So then the someones invented cassette tapes instead. Cassettes really should've been much better than the records since they were so much smaller, and could be thrown onto the floor of people's cars without being destroyed; however, they still had to be turned over manually to hear the entire album. So they pretty much sucked.

Then came the "compact disc". These were made by the peoples who were nostalgic for the records...and probably the crepes as well. The Police too, for that matter. CDs are the same basic idea, except not black, are smaller...and they eliminated that nasty little chore of having to flip to hear the whole album. Perfection, mais non? It was about time. One little snag. They scratched so easily, one of them could be rendered unusable if it was looked at crossly. Very tiresome.

Now the someones have made mp3s. They're songs that float in the air over your head in thousands of tiny pieces like Mike TeeVee and Wonka Bars. They're called to our ears through white "ear buds" and if you can capture them, you can keep them in cages called "ipods". It's all very technical.

I have all the above options in my home. Depending on my mood and what I want to hear...I can play any of them at any one time. Or all of them at any several times. But that could end up sounding like a Velvet Underground song...so I usually refrain. Or just put on the Velvet Underground. Which I have on both CD and LP. It all depends on whether or not I feel the urge to flip.

If I want to hear Bel Biv Devoe, I could play a tape. I have a handy dandy player thing that does the flipping for me. Strange thing...I haven't really been moved to give them a listen since approximately 1991. I blame grunge. But I won't let my tapes go. They hold a special place in my heart. Or in a shoe box in a crawl space.

If I wanted to hear Kiss I could break out the 8 track. But since I found it in a box on the side of the road...I'm not positive they'd come through sounding their best. It's like fluorescent dressing room lighting for the ears. Not to mention the fact that I do not own an 8 track player. The box did not contain one. Now that I think of it...I'm not sure where that Kiss 8 track is exactly.

And so...with Kansas working late, I'm taking my records out for a spin (he hogs the phonograph just because "it's his". Selfish). So far this evening, we've (Tallulah and I) enjoyed Shirley Bassey, Nancy Sinatra, Tom Jones, Bobby Darrin and Blondie. And the night has only just begun. Of course, by the time I get halfway through the "to play" pile (Talking Heads, The Kinks, Nina Simone and Traffic)...I'll probably be fed up with having to constantly stop what I'm doing to flip the goddamn record. Stupid crepes.