I'm burned once again, despite using SPF 45 sunblock. Stupid natural ingredients. I don't know what else to do besides wrap myself in a tarp before leaving the confines of the indoors. I mean, some people would suggest that I just wear a hat, but I'll shoot that suggestion down with two ironclad points: 1. I look stupid in hats. Every couple of years I try them again to see if anything has improved. It hasn't. 2. You can't swim in a hat...be reasonable.Ok, so you can't swim in a tarp either, but I could make a tarp suit and I'd be in business. Though if I wore a tarp suit I wouldn't be able to wear my cool bikini with the silver clinking skulls. I love my skulls. The clinking ones. I don't have any human ones in my basement or anything. I don't have a basement.
Anyway, I believe the Fun Noodle to be the most perfect invention of the 20th century. I think they've been around that long. You put one under your head and one under your knees and you don't even have to MOVE...you float like a feather...like the lyrics of a Radiohead song. It all appealed greatly to my belief that no labor should be done at all on Labor Day. Not even treading water.
But enough about me. I'm going to take a moment to shamelessly plug another blog. The blog of someone who seems to think he deserves more blog love than he's getting. Someone who is slightly jealous of my recent award. So rather than lord it over him, my usual inclination, I'm going to be the giver that I know I am deep down inside and say...this is 'd'. 'D' needs blog love. Please give 'd' some commenty blog love. I think it will ease his blog-related pain.
Thus my good deed for the year has been done. Now it's back to shouting mean things at old people, pouring my tea in the office plants and judging everyone else by their footwear. Hurray!
12 keep(s) me blogging:
WOW! You're selflessly giving your blog entery away to D!! I'm impressed. Normlly people try to hijack blogs, but you're giving them away.
It seems that my login thing's broke :/ for me at least
ummm... wow. to think that just a few days ago you were making plans to kill me, and now you're doing this!
this is better than a blog of the day award. well... not really. but it's pretty fucking good. no. i've changed my mind again. this is better.
you're like totally cool and stuff.
should i send you chocolate? money? a homeless person to do your laundry? two homeless people? one to do your laundry and the other to say nice things about you as people walk past them on the street?
btw - shouting mean things at old people is one of my favorite hobbies.
what the fuck is a fun noodle? that sounds like a thai restaurant chain or something.
you should have included a picture. we all know what sun screen looks like. and some of us are well aware that our anglo-saxon heritage, although a distict advantage in most other situations, presents a great disadvantage now that the ozone layer has left us. sheesh.
mostly i just want to bring you down a notch from your recent award high. i say "award shmaward. what have you done for me lately?"
... or maybe it's jealousy. i mean, you're so fucking special, i wish i was special.
niall - like i said...i'm a giver
d - being a giver is all about not asking for anything in return. if you were a giver, you'd know this already
devon - i shall include a picture for those of you who don't know how to use "google".
oh, and Janet Jackson...I'm coming all the way to seattle for your party...remember? so shut it!
awww, don't be sore.
janet jackson?
Hey, has anyone read "The Crow Road", by Iain Banks? He uses the word 'fucking' a lot in it!
And D, why don't you want non-bloggers to post on your blog? That's racist, man!
Uh, I just bought a hat when I was in Portland. Whoops.
I've never tried fun noodle- I think I like noodles that make me fat.
k2 - you're right. i'm not a giver. i'm selfish. but look at me. i'm a fucking cartoon dog. whatt'ya want from me?
niall - i have no idea. but i'll fix it simply because you asked. however, if i get a bunch of spam, i'm blaming you. and if anonymous people leave comments i don't care for, i'm blaming you. and if i don't win the lottery, i'm blaming you. basically, i'm blaming everything i don't like on you if this little experiment goes wrong. you're ok with that, right?
d - what do i want from you??? so many things, where do i begin...well, i can't think of any of them on the spot. but you could always replace your fucking cartoon dog with your own half of your 1985 head. That is, unless you had Robert Smith hair...did you have Robert Smith hair?
i don't have a picture of half of my 1985 head. but i can assure you, i was cute. i think at that point, i was working on a dog the bounty hunter hair style. but i was only 11, so didn't have much say in the matter.
Wait just a minute here. I haven't commented on this blog entry yet and therefore it is not yet a valid, complete entry.
I am also a fan of fun noodles.
Okay, you may now resume blogging...
d - since I don't know what "dog the bounty hunter hair" looks like, you now HAVE to find a picture of half your 1985 head. If you don't... somewhere, a fairy will die.
l - you don't get to validate the completeness of my entries when you take vacation days and don't tell me.
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